Okay, let me just say first off I like both XCOM games and have no animosity or ill will to the developers of either, I just wrote this song as a laugh cause I imagined what might go down if Julian Gollop and Jake Solomon met, also I have no musical talent, enjoy. (Parody of the devil went down to Georgia)
Julian Gollop went down to Pax. He was lookin’ for a game to play.
He was feelin bad 'cause there weren’t much good to be had. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young man codin’ on a laptop and playin’ it hot.
And Gollop jumped upon a doritos box and said "Boy, let me tell you what."
"I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a game dev, too.
And if you’d care to take a dare I’ll make a bet with you.
Now you make a pretty good game, boy, but give the Devil his due.
I’ll bet a keyboard of gold against your game 'cause I think I’m better than you."
The boy said, "My name’s Jake Solomon, and it might be a sin,
But I’ll take your bet; and you’re gonna regret 'cause I’m the best there’s ever been."
Jake, polish up your code and play your testers hard.
'Cause Hell’s broke loose in Pax and the Julian deals the cards.
And if you win you get this shiny keyboard made of gold,
But if you lose Julian Gollop gets your game.
Gollop opened up his case and he said, “I’ll start this show.”
And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his board.
And he pulled his fingers across the board and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of cryssalids joined in and it sounded something like this.
When Julian Gollop finished, Jake said, "Well, you’re pretty good ol’ son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it’s done."
"Firebrand’s in the sky." Run, boys, run!
Zhang’s in the house of the rising sun;
Sectoids’ in the diner abducting people,
Vahlens methods seem a tiny bit evil.
Julian Gollop bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
And he laid that golden keyboard on the ground at Jake’s feet.
Jake said, “Julian, just come on back. If you ever wanna try again,
I done told you once—you son of a bitch—I’m the best that’s ever been."
And he made:
"Firebrand’s in the sky." Run, boys, run!
Zhang’s in the house of the rising sun;
Sectoids’ in the diner abducting people,
Vahlens methods seem a tiny bit evil.
